I'm back!

Wow I've been gone a long time...did you miss me? I hope you didn't all think I'd died or something in the hurricane. It really wasn't that bad!

We hung out at Ron and Jen's house. After the power went out on Saturday night at 7.15 we spent some time playing games and then decided we should probably try and sleep during the main event. Sadly I did not sleep very well so I got to listen to the house being beaten by the wind and the turbine on the roof twirling round and round. It was all very noisy and not reassuring. But we survived. The house had a little bit of damage but nothing like some of the others in the area.

Charlie and Margaret's house had little damage also, but sadly their neighbours didn't survive as well. It must be really disheartening for them as hurricanes are really random. One house could be condemned and their neighbour have no damage at all.
The weird thing is that Jeanne hit really close to where Frances did. The likeliness of it hitting so close is about the same as winning the lottery every day for a year. Does that make us lucky or unlucky?

Personally the after effects of a hurricane are odd feelings. I'm alive and pleased that the houses sustained little damage (though the church was hit bad) and I don't really feel as homesick, but somehow I don't feel like me. I don't know why and I couldn't explain it but that doesn't mean I won't try.

I guess that I feel drained in every way possible. My back is sore from sleeping on a sofa, and I think that I could sleep for a week if I had my bed from Belfast. I just don't really have the energy to do anything. I kind of feel like going to curl up in a corner and not have to deal with being away from home or any of the other things that might stress me out or drain me more.

I guess I wouldn't mind if I had some structure back. Everything I had worked for was cancelled cause of the storm- Pumpkins, the picnic. So about 4 of the leaflets I made were just pointless. So I also feel like I've done nothing to contribute even though I've been here for over 3weeks.

I feel like I'm talking round in a big circle and not making any sense. I was hoping to convey to you what it's like to go through a hurricane and the aftermath of it but apparently all that happens is you stop functioning properly. Storm Stress Syndrome means that you have mental, physical, behavioural, emotional and spiritual diversions from your normal self. I think I have mental and emotional at the moment.

Anyway, I think I'll go before I start random conversations with myself. If you can think of any fundraising ideas that we could use to replace Pumpkins I'm sure they'd help- seeing as some of us can't think by ourselves.

Hope you are all well.
xo.

Cheer up Sleepy Jeanne

Unfortunately Jeanne is not asleep. She's moving towards my location as I type. Somehow I'm not as freaked as I would have imagined. I am somewhat tense though.

I've been told she isn't as strong as Frances. It's not really very reassuring to me though. Frances did a lot of damage, but a well placed Jeanne could do equally well. It's also not reassuring that Port St Lucie was mentionned on the news. Last time it wasn't, so that kind of says it's coming straight to us.

I phoned home yesterday and my parents weren't concerned at all. I'm wondering if that was a front so that I wouldn't be more hyped up about it. Or perhaps they just really trust Margaret and Charlie. I trust them too so I'm just going to follow their lead.

It's kind of annoying though as all the fun things this weekend have been cancelled. I was really looking forward to going to the pool, sunbathing and spending some time with Molly and Susan. It was going to be a fun girly day. And then there was going to be an overdue welcome party as Frances pushed it back. And of course the community picnic (that I made a flyer for!) was meant to be on Sunday afternoon.

Instead I'll get to hang out with Jen and Ron though so I guess it'll be fun anyway. A hurricane party is somewhat odd though.

Anyway, I just thought I should let you all know about Jeanne's visit and that we might lose power (though Jen and Ron have a generator). If we do lose power though I'll probably not get to update, so don't worry. I'll come back with an update asap.

Please pray for the safety of Florida.. There are many people who haven't recovered from Frances and their homes are at a high risk.

Thanks. Enjoy the better weather where you are!

xo.

Sunny side of the sidewalk

Hello all.
Today is definitely a more positive day although I have a headache and I forgot to wear my ankle support so I kind of hurt it again. Oops. I blame cognitive stress again. I went "totally bimbo" in the office cause I couldn't remember the code for the copier (which I made up myself and it's really easy to remember) and then I couldn't remember how many copies Charlie wanted. I feel kind of like I'm on another planet but obviously I'm not. No matter how weird the Americans get technically I'm the alien and not them.

I'm really glad I started writing this blog. A few people have said to me that writing is a good way for me to communicate and that I appear more confident through my writing. I think that's because I feel that I can easily correct mistakes and my brain has more time to compute. I also don't feel like I'm interrupting anyone as you all choose to read this. I'm not even going to ask why.

I do feel, however, that many of you do not know that much about me. I feel bad about that as I've been friends with a lot of you for ages and yet we never really made it to the stage where we actually know each other. I was thinking that if you do have any specific questions I can answer them on the blog. Random questions are also welcome. That way you can get to know me better and give me good ideas of questions to ask other people! I'm still trying really hard to spend time chatting to all the youth. Sometimes it's ok as I have the novelty factor, but sometimes I just feel like hiding in the corner again. I'm not going to though. I would really have a boring time here if I just hid in the corner. Plus I've found that there are even more spiders here than at home and I don't really want to go find them. (I found a dead one under my pillow. It was gross.)

Oooh, you've just learnt something (I hope it's not the only thing you've learnt, or that it hasn't replaced other more important stuff that you learned previously) I HATE SPIDERS. So much so that when Margaret asked me to vacuum the room I'm staying in, I blew all the spiders on the floor and sucked them up. It was rather difficult not to scream.

Anyway, today I went to a staff meeting. As soon as I walked through the door (cause Charlie and I were late) Renee handed me a pot of Play-Doh and told me to make my life at the moment. That has to be the weirdest thing so far from this trip. I really couldn't think of anything to make and then everything I did think of I kind of felt like it was insignificant. (I think that's a problem for me- my life etc are somewhat insignificant in my mind. I know that sounds odd and somewhat pessimistic but I'm working on it.) Anyway, I decided that my life was being busy at the church and being homesick when I wasn't so... I made a telephone and a tissue for homesickness and the church for the church. It worked quite well except I wasn't really thinking about proportions so I had a telephone and the church the same size. I don't think anyone else noticed. So now I have a pot of Play-doh on my desk. It's fun to play with.

This afternoon I had to plan the game for youth. I spent the entire day thinking of things for them to bring me during "Bring me". Some of them were weird as Charlie thought them up. One example of this was pond water as a lot of the church grounds flooded. We have our own lake/swimming pool and probably a million bugs. Eugh.

Anyway, the game worked quite well and tonight Charlie spoke about Spiritual Warfare so it was a good message and it was useful for me to rethink that. Being on a Christian gap-year is a dangerous path. But I like the challenge. One of the things Charlie was talking about though was that we need to be united in our faith. I'm not really feeling completely united yet cause I don't know enough people well enough. It's nice to think that they still want to look out for me even though they don't know me though.

One other exciting thing is that Charlie has asked Susan to be my shepherd. Basically I can go and talk to her instead of him or Dawn and that way I have a bigger circle of people. Plus she'll be able to help me with some stuff as we meet up regularly. She seems excited by it. I think it's cool cause she's one of the first people I met here and she's lovely.

I got an email from Nicky Algie. She said that I should use more American words in my blog. Unfortunately I'm not very Americanised yet so I just named my entry a random name just for her.

Wow this entry is long. It's also a lot later than I expected. I need to go sleep so I can get up in the morning.

I hope you are all fantastic. And if you aren't I still think you are.
xo.

Better days

I got some really nice emails and comments after my last entry and they made me want to cry for a different reason. Everyone is so nice! You'll be glad to hear that I did get a hug today. It was nice, though I was worried that I would smell like Charlie all day. Luckily I had used lots of my new "Country Apple" products and so I still smelt of them. They are nice.

Today was better even though I nearly started to cry in Charlie's office, but it was better than crying in the restaurant we went to for lunch. We had a nice wee "get to know you again" chat. I'm pretty sure I didn't reveal much of myself during it but we did establish that writing is a good outlet for me. And now Charlie is reading my blog so he gets to know all about me from the comfort of his study. I really need to think of more interesting things to say.

Oooh today I made another bulletin type thing! How exciting is that? I know I slag the fact that all I seem to do is make things to hand out, but I do enjoy making them. I like being able to work a computer, though sometimes I really am just guessing.

Boring blankness

Ok, so really there is not point updating today but I feel like I should follow the routine rather than break it (again).
I really did nothing today. Well obviously I did something cause I'm still alive but I bore you enough as it is. Basically the most interesting thing was playing the piano.

But today homesickness is so bad. I miss everyone so much and the feeling about crying isn't going away. I know that talking to Charlie helped a little bit but I don't really feel like I have anyone proper to talk to. There's no one I fully trust here and I kind of feel like a burden on those at home cause they are getting on with their own lives. I guess it's a good opportunity for my to Fully Rely On God, but I just want to cry and have a hug from someone who I trust fully. And I do trust God fully but He doesn't give the best hugs.

Homesickness

Ooooh I missed a day! Yesterday I went shopping with Holley and bought a skort and shorts for $12. Apparently very good value. They were on sale. Would have been around $60 if not. It was fun but tiring...4hours of shopping!

Today was hard. It was my first proper Sunday with 3 services. Course I have Sunday school during the only interesting one. I went to the other two traditional services and they were exactly the same except at different times. Very weird. Also had youth this evening which was just hanging out.
I have to say that my afternoon was totally pointless cause I sunbathed and yet I'm still milk white!

I went through my first dramatic homesickness today. I've felt like I need to cry since I got here but it finally got the best of me today. I only cried for like a minute though. I just really miss my family. I miss being able to be completely myself and know that no matter what they'll always love me. I miss seeing them, and talking to them and being able to give them hugs. I'm still really worried about my sister. I'm making myself cry again!
I also feel like I'm invading Charlie and Marge's life. Charlie says I'm not cause they invited me and they are excited to have me here. He also said he knew that it would be better for me to be with people who love me for a while so I can work through some homesickness. Just what I needed to hear to make me stop crying...not.

I'm overly emotional and apparently that's related to the stress of leaving home and well as the fact that I miss home.
Anyway, I need to go sort my face out before I go back into public view. I used to be such a professional crier. I just make a mess now!

Miss you all.
xo

"Sleep is good..."

Do you know how happy I'll be to sleep-in tomorrow? Extremely. I'm very very tired and I'm starting to feel a bit ill.

Today I was at the office (again) and I helped with photograph collages. They look cool though I'm sure the youth will hate them. I would if it were me. Then I slacked off and sent emails and found out about some weird music event we're going to in November. Once I find out more I'll fill you in. It's supposed to be really good though.
Tonight I went to the cinema to see Wicker Park with some of the Senior High girls. It was really nice to hang out with them cause it made me feel kind of normal again. They are really nice though they are all about 16 and they look older than me. It's so not fair. Why do I look so young?

The movie was quite confusing. Lots of flashbacks and stuff. I followed it quite well considering the amount of interruptions from the annoying kids in front of me. Don't you just hate it when they won't shut up? A couple of the girls were tempted to go get the manager but they were already confused enough by the movie that they didn't want to leave and miss a whole section. It has Josh Hartnett in it if that helps. I remember when my dear friend was entirely obsessed by him. I'm still kind of put off by the eyebrows.

Anyway, side tracked! I'm so tired. I think I need to go to bed. I might go shopping tomorrow with Holly. It's quite amusing that there's Holly, Molly and now Polly. Quite confusing too though! My last name is driving me mad too. I need to get married so I can get rid of it! Not any time soon though...please don't scare me!

Well, hope everything's good where you all are. I'm praying that Jean doesn't hit us!

Night!

The American Intern

Hey everybody...or that one lonely person who reads this. I have no idea how many people do but it doesn't really matter, cause it gets stuff off my chest and people get to find out about what it's like to be an American intern.

Today was another early start with a creak in my neck. I went to a meeting with the Sunday School superintendent (Dawn...She'll be my second mum soon, or is that first "mom"?). She's going to take me out to lunch next Thursday so we can discuss all the stuff I'm meant to do for her. Meanwhile I literally get to be Charlie's shadow. Betty commented today on how much I was just like a shadow. I'm aiming for the puppy dog look though.
I went to a crazy old woman's house to clear her lawn from hurricane debris. She actually was crazy...Apparently very similar to the woman from the exorcist. I've never seen it but all the youth told me that. Creepy.

Then it was back to the office to finish cutting the invitations. I was told that the guillotine needs oil. To which I replied "To set it on fire?" I really hate it that much. But it's done and in future I'll agree to the computer work and leave the other stuff to someone who isn't as easily irritated by a machine that makes a worse noise than nails on a blackboard.

This evening will be a repeat of last night's youth. Testimony included. I'm not sure if I can do it twice, but I'll just remember that God is always there. Just like socks. Though I'm not wearing socks here cause it's too hot!

I really do hope you are all well. I miss so much from home, but people the most. I phone my parents way too often but I can't phone most of my friends. Any contact would be great!

God socks

Today was a big, busy day. I got up usual time of 7.15 to find that I couldn't turn my head to the right. The neck problem got worse as the day progressed and I'm grateful to however invented painkillers.
In the office I spent most of the day making a bulletin insert. This time it was an invitation to the community picnic. Rich (one of the pastors) wanted it about the size of a business card which made it slightly more complicated. I got them done though. In my opinion they look pretty crap but other people seem to like them. I'm getting very sick of them though as I had to print 174 sheets, each with 3 cards on the them, and I'm still in the process of cutting out all the cards. Quite boring and the guillotine makes the most annoying high pitched grinding noise. Eugh.
After that I got to go shopping (yay?) for m&ms and a playstation2. Unfortunately the playstation2 didn't work too good so we have to take it back tomorrow. The m&ms were used tonight in a fun-ish game where you had to ask people questions based on the colour of m&ms. Most of the questions were about the hurricane as we wanted the youth group to discuss that.
Also tonight I got to give my testimony to the middle high youth group. There were only 12 of them so it wasn't so bad but I still felt a bit out of place standing at the front.

I sent an email out to a few people about me feeling like I was wearing shoes that were far too big and yet my feet just kept moving on. Phil replied to me with the coolest thing...

God is like a pair of big, squishy socks.

Not only does he fill in the things that you don't think you can do, he supports you and comforts you! Totally cool.

Anyway, I'm still meant to make a list of things I want to "change" about myself through this year. Any suggestions are welcome!

Hope you are well!

Pumpkins

Today was slightly more eventful. I made my first ever bulletin insert all about Pumpkin Patch. I personally find the whole situation rather amusing cause the church makes about $5000 just from selling pumpkins. Last year they sold $15000 worth and had to give 2/3 back to the company who gave them the pumpkins for free. They also got $3000 donations so in total they made $8000 in the space of a month from a weird holiday. Only in America.

I also went to the Organising Committee's meeting. They were discussing the upcoming picnic. For the most part I was lost but it was nice to be included. I've already gotten another job for tomorrow - another bulletin! This time it'll be all about BBQs etc. Fun.

Anyway, even though it's only 10.30, I'm absolutely wrecked. No idea why, well maybe the fact I got up at 7.15 and didn't sleep well last night.

Night!

Hugs

I keep thinking that the days are going to get more eventful and then nothing seems to happen. I don't know how. Anyway, today I got paid! So now I have money to buy stuff. I'm not really sure what stuff I'm meant to buy. I always went shopping with my mum on Saturdays but she bought stuff for 6 people and it was priced in Sterling. I haven't bought anything here yet and the dollar is still a mystery to me. I'm going to have to get someone to come with me!

Also, today I had a few things revealed to me. One is I have to work out my testimony for Wednesday night. I know everyone has one and I've already worked through mine a few times but I still think that it's not very impacting, but then maybe that is part of my character. I like being in the background but I guess I'm going to have to take a few steps into the light. (Just got reminded of "Bugs Life"- I don't want to die!)

Another thing was that Charlie decided today was a good day for the relationships talk..In the confines of a car. It wasn't that bad cause I know my focus here and I've already got a complicated enough lovelife just from leaving the country so I'm not exactly looking for a guy. Whatever happens, happens but I'm not about to make any big decisions without praying them through. I'm kind of thinking it won't be an issue cause I'm not exactly looking my most attractive at the moment and somehow I just don't care. Maybe that's cause I'm happy as long as I'm not melting and my eyes don't feel like they are going to dry up. ( Thus the skirts and glasses.) I'm sure I look like a complete dork.

My dad phoned me today and I was so glad to get to talk to him. Funny thing is that I talk to him more now than I did when I was at home. That's probably cause I didn't have as many concerns at home and I don't have as many people to talk to about stuff. I miss the true way we communicate though -hugs. I know I really need to find a new thing but I just love hugs. On Sunday Rad Orlandis came up to me and gave me a hug. Totally out of the blue cause I've never met him before. It was nice though and notice how I remember his name...isn't it impressive? Not only do I remember his first name, I remember his last name and the fact that he's a dentist (cosmetic...very rich) and his wife is called Pat. See? Hugs are powerful.

Ok, so now that I've proved my insanity, perhaps I should talk about other key things in my life. As I said before my sister was very sick. She's still not 100% and is quite likely to take another fit before she comes off the antibiotics, but she's taking a break in Donegal at the moment so hopefully she'll get better soon.
I haven't heard much about my brother. I have a really cute picture of us as kids and that's about the only contact I have with him cause he's in Aberdeen so my mum can't force him to talk to me, although she did try and put the mobile to the handset while she was talking to us both. Hopefully after this year we'll be even better at getting along without wanting to start World War 2 million and 1. I think that's what we are at now but I lost count.
My other sister is spending a lot of time at home bugging my parents. I love her but sometimes I just can't stand her. As I've said before I love hugs, but she is totally clingy sometimes and I need to get some space from her. I'm really hoping that this year will bring us closer together and will make me appreciate her more.

Oh that reminds me. I'm meant to make a list of things I want to "change" about myself through this year. Apart from the babbling, is there anything you think I could work on? I know I need a confidence boost and positivity would not go a miss, but other than that I'm pretty much stuck.

Anyway, as per usual I'm being antisocial and I've already written a whole lot more than I would have thought possible. I'm going to go now and leave you all to think of improvements for me! Thanks.

Hope you are all well.

Aww

Today I was at church. Only one service so it was packed. I was introduced during the children's talk but I only had to stand up while Charlie said who I was. Not too embarrassing.

Lots of people came and said "hi" afterwards. I don't really remember their names though. There was a set of baby twins, Logan and Trinity, who were so adorable. I got to hold Logan twice! I didn't want to give him back. I want one! And yet no cause who wants to go through the pain and the whole waking up at 2 in the morning thing?

I read Keith Anderson's blogg today and found that he had written "God has countless ways of communicating with us, we have only one way of communicating with him - through prayer!" I think that that is really cool especially since I'm finding it hard to talk to people about the issues I'm facing at the moment. Everyday I phone home and have to force myself not to cry and when people ask me how things are going, I tend to smile and nod a lot. The only "person" I can talk to about everything is God and really it is taking a weight off my shoulders (but maybe not my chest). Listening for the whisper is my challenge though. I want to hear and see God in everything.

I keep writing loads of stuff like emails, bloggs, journal entries, prayers, and a few random poems but really I'm more working round in circles than through stuff. If you can help at all please email me! Also, prayer is a powerful weapon and I would love it if people would pray for me and the church I'm going to be working with. They all seem like really decent people but it'll be hard to work with the kids as I'm basically their age and I'm easily intimidated.

Anyway, I haven't really done much else today.
Must go find fun and interesting things so I can write more later...

Hope you are good.

B-E-A-UTIFUL

I would love to say today was eventful but of course it wasn't. Somehow I managed to sleep to half 10 and then I got up and had the nicest bagels for breakfast...I'm sure you all wanted to know that!

I watched Bruce Almighty and realised that Margaret and Charlie have watched it way to many times. In fact they've even adopted some of the phrases from it. I won't tell you which ones cause that might destroy the golden image a lot of you have of them.

Afterwards we just sat around and listened to Charlie play the piano. I had a go after him and came to the conclusion that grade 2 piano is all I can manage. That and "cheers" is deadly to play.

I feel bad cause today is their wedding anniversary and they haven't really had any time alone. I wish I could drive and then I'd go out and buy them something and they could spend time together. Charlie is at church now though even though curfew started 15 minutes ago. Apparently all the street lights aren't fixed and people keep crashing into each other. Don't they have lights on their cars?

I also feel bad cause my sister had an epileptic fit today. It was only minor but I still wish I could be home and looking after her. We are really close (due to the fact we shared a room for 15 years) and normally I look after her when she's sick. She just changes the way she says my name and I know exactly what she wants. It's a neat party trick too. I hope she isn't missing me as much as I am her. It probably wouldn't help her recovery.

So that's you up to date. I'm thinking that writing weekly would make for more entertaining reading...or at least give me something to say. I'm perfecting my babbling skills though!

Hope you are all good!

Raking

So today has been a hot and weird day. Today I went to the office so I could escape the mad house of 5 dogs. We had to phone lots of people to see how the hurricane effected them. Most of the people didn't understand me and I'm beginning to think that faking an accent might make my life easier.

I ate my first healthy meal since I left London today! It's nice to feel that I'm not clogging up my arteries. I also did some excercise by raking the front lawn. I didn't mind doing that cause I felt useful, but I did nearly pass out from the heat.

All in all it's been a pretty uneventful day, though I did discover the stash of British chocolate in my suitcase! Yum. It was a very pleasent surprise... in fact, I'm going to go eat that now!

Hurricane Who?

I thought that I should start writing a Blog for all my fun adventures in Florida. I'm sorry if I don't update loads but I forget easy and I often don't have lots to say!
Basically I've arrived in Florida. I've been here for a few days and this is the first night I've been in Charlie's as we only just got electricity (air conditioning rocks!).
Thankfully I'm finally over jetlag and travel sickness though I'm nowhere near used to being here. It's all very different. I'm sure that's not helped by the crazy weather. I haven't experienced a hurricane yet but I'm supposed to this weekend. I'm sure that'll be fun!

We've basically been hanging out at Jen and Ron's house as they had a generator and then got power before us. It was like a slumber party!
I think I should apologise now for any American words I use...They really are a bad influence! Thankfully I still have my accent as Charlie would slag me loads!

I'm thinking that this is enough rambling for tonight! Hopefully I'll remember to write here again. If not I blame Cognitive stress from hurricanes, living in a house with four dogs and leaving home (and lovely N.I) for 10 months!