DICE
-
The first few seconds when I wake up are the best, my brain is not fully
engage and I feel happy. But then that’s it, the sad, empty lonely life I
lead ki...
7 years ago
Friday, March 06, 2009
Why is it I always have the most inspiring thoughts at night, just after I've turned off the light (and shut down my computer). And then the next day my mind is blank, and I have absolutely no idea what that brilliant thought was last night. But I can remember my slightly disturbing dream that makes me worry just a little bit more about myself. Perhaps it came from the empty stomach I had? Either that or it was too much twitter yesterday.
Is it possible to have too much twitter?
Is it possible to have too much twitter?
Thursday, March 05, 2009
I've just called the university and been told to stay home. Somehow that doesn't make me feel better about missing yet another day.
Being ill is so frustrating. I have no control over it! Even the illness today, that is in part self inflicted. My prep for the scan, and the scan itself. I read up all about barium enemas before the scan- in part it helps, in another way it scared the crap out of me and made me not want to go. But I went in the hope that they can figure out what's wrong with me. Anyway, I read that the recovery time is quite short and people feel fine to go back to work the next day. So I went back to work. I should always remember- I AM NOT NORMAL!
Even my reaction after the scan wasn't normal- I couldn't stop myself from trying to be sick despite my stomach being completely empty. So they gave me an anti sickness injection, valoid. I guess the effects had worn off yesterday in work. Today I feel a little unsteady on my feet and like I've been punched in the stomach. Probably not the best conditions for attempting to get two buses to uni.
One thing that has made me smile is twitter. I joined a while ago, before it was popular and wondered what on earth the point was. Now I enjoy catching up on other people's lives and having brief conversations with them. I love looking at other people's blogs and photos and seeing what they find interesting and beautiful in the world. It makes things a little brighter and I feel less alone.
Though I know I'm not alone. My family have been quite supportive this week, as well as Paul and his family. My mum bought me special foods to make me feel like eating (I don't feel like eating today though) and my dad and brother have refrained from teasing me- my brother even offered me his seat last night. It's good they are so understanding of me being ill because I am so often.
And poor Paul is all stressed out at work but he still managed to make me smile (and laugh though that's not so good for my stomach).
Somehow I feel better after writing this, despite the pain in my stomach, the lack of appetite, the fact that I'm missing more uni and the stress of all the things I need to do in the next few weeks. I really should write in my blog more often. I still need people to poke me to do it though!
Being ill is so frustrating. I have no control over it! Even the illness today, that is in part self inflicted. My prep for the scan, and the scan itself. I read up all about barium enemas before the scan- in part it helps, in another way it scared the crap out of me and made me not want to go. But I went in the hope that they can figure out what's wrong with me. Anyway, I read that the recovery time is quite short and people feel fine to go back to work the next day. So I went back to work. I should always remember- I AM NOT NORMAL!
Even my reaction after the scan wasn't normal- I couldn't stop myself from trying to be sick despite my stomach being completely empty. So they gave me an anti sickness injection, valoid. I guess the effects had worn off yesterday in work. Today I feel a little unsteady on my feet and like I've been punched in the stomach. Probably not the best conditions for attempting to get two buses to uni.
One thing that has made me smile is twitter. I joined a while ago, before it was popular and wondered what on earth the point was. Now I enjoy catching up on other people's lives and having brief conversations with them. I love looking at other people's blogs and photos and seeing what they find interesting and beautiful in the world. It makes things a little brighter and I feel less alone.
Though I know I'm not alone. My family have been quite supportive this week, as well as Paul and his family. My mum bought me special foods to make me feel like eating (I don't feel like eating today though) and my dad and brother have refrained from teasing me- my brother even offered me his seat last night. It's good they are so understanding of me being ill because I am so often.
And poor Paul is all stressed out at work but he still managed to make me smile (and laugh though that's not so good for my stomach).
Somehow I feel better after writing this, despite the pain in my stomach, the lack of appetite, the fact that I'm missing more uni and the stress of all the things I need to do in the next few weeks. I really should write in my blog more often. I still need people to poke me to do it though!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Untitled
I'm going for a walk tonight with Jenny. I love our walks. We've only been a couple of times, but I always feel better after them - not really for the exercise, though I suppose that is good for me.
It's amazing how much better you feel after a good chat. I'm not really in need of a vent at the minute, but it's still nice to talk. To communicate. I think that's what we're made for. Relationships, friendships, to share love.
It was Valentine's this weekend and I truly felt love. In the run up to the day people were asking what I was doing and I said, "nothing really." When I was single I wanted nothing more than to be in a relationship and make a big deal of it, but now I'm in a relationship I don't need to. It's a big deal every day. In some ways it's just the norm every day. It's strange.
Anyway, Paul made me a card for the day. It said -
I don't do Valentine's day. Is it okay if I just love you everyday instead?
I almost cried. I guess I knew he was romantic. He's very thoughtful and loving and knows me incredibly well. We connect. I didn't expect this though. I thought he wouldn't give me a card- he made me a delicious dinner and we had said it would just be a romantic evening like we could have any other day of the year. The card made all the difference though. He says it was nothing, but to me it's a thing to cherish.
I don't need a card to know that he loves me everyday of course. But it is nice to read it and feel very special and to have renewed faith in the male of the species. I was concerned that I was in a terrible cycle of picking the wrong man! I think I may have got it right. The card was definitely better than flowers or jewellery or any other present I could have gotten from him. Except maybe spending more time with him.
It's amazing how much better you feel after a good chat. I'm not really in need of a vent at the minute, but it's still nice to talk. To communicate. I think that's what we're made for. Relationships, friendships, to share love.
It was Valentine's this weekend and I truly felt love. In the run up to the day people were asking what I was doing and I said, "nothing really." When I was single I wanted nothing more than to be in a relationship and make a big deal of it, but now I'm in a relationship I don't need to. It's a big deal every day. In some ways it's just the norm every day. It's strange.
Anyway, Paul made me a card for the day. It said -
I don't do Valentine's day. Is it okay if I just love you everyday instead?
I almost cried. I guess I knew he was romantic. He's very thoughtful and loving and knows me incredibly well. We connect. I didn't expect this though. I thought he wouldn't give me a card- he made me a delicious dinner and we had said it would just be a romantic evening like we could have any other day of the year. The card made all the difference though. He says it was nothing, but to me it's a thing to cherish.
I don't need a card to know that he loves me everyday of course. But it is nice to read it and feel very special and to have renewed faith in the male of the species. I was concerned that I was in a terrible cycle of picking the wrong man! I think I may have got it right. The card was definitely better than flowers or jewellery or any other present I could have gotten from him. Except maybe spending more time with him.
Paul the latte boy
This is a poem about my boyfriend based on "Taylor the latte boy" which I love sung by Kristin Chenoweth.(You can get to the video on youtube by clicking the link from the title of this post). I wrote it simply to make him smile.
There's a boy who drinks at Starbucks
Who is very addicted,
He is very addicted, he’s in there every day.
He goes in at 8:11, and he smiles and says, "The usual"
When he smiles and says, "The usual"
He gives his card to pay.
But today at 8:11
His Starbucks card needs topped up
His £100 card needs topped up
He tries not to swear.
So today at 8:11 when they gave him back his card.
He put his hand in pocket
And pulled out all that was there
He sorted through his change and picked out the correct amount...
He’s in there so often he really should get a permanent discount.
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
After picking up his latte
He leaves and goes to work
And he works and works and works
He does this every day
It’s not long before he needs a fix
Hazelnut latte, without delay
He heads off to find a Starbucks, he knows where every one is
He’s been in each many times, for his grande latte need
He goes in and makes his order, this time he makes it skinny
He grows a little impatient; this place isn’t up to speed
He’s glad when it is ready and makes his way to Gloria
He takes a sip of latte, and sinks into a state of euphoria.
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
I used to be the kind of girl who'd never drink a coffee,
But finally a voice whispered "That buzz can be yours, if you try it with some hazelnut, or toffee."
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
So many years my tastebuds waited,
Who’d have thought I’d love drinks so caffeinated?
Paul, the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, I love him.
I love him, I love him, I love him.
There's a boy who drinks at Starbucks
Who is very addicted,
He is very addicted, he’s in there every day.
He goes in at 8:11, and he smiles and says, "The usual"
When he smiles and says, "The usual"
He gives his card to pay.
But today at 8:11
His Starbucks card needs topped up
His £100 card needs topped up
He tries not to swear.
So today at 8:11 when they gave him back his card.
He put his hand in pocket
And pulled out all that was there
He sorted through his change and picked out the correct amount...
He’s in there so often he really should get a permanent discount.
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
After picking up his latte
He leaves and goes to work
And he works and works and works
He does this every day
It’s not long before he needs a fix
Hazelnut latte, without delay
He heads off to find a Starbucks, he knows where every one is
He’s been in each many times, for his grande latte need
He goes in and makes his order, this time he makes it skinny
He grows a little impatient; this place isn’t up to speed
He’s glad when it is ready and makes his way to Gloria
He takes a sip of latte, and sinks into a state of euphoria.
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
I used to be the kind of girl who'd never drink a coffee,
But finally a voice whispered "That buzz can be yours, if you try it with some hazelnut, or toffee."
Paul the latte addict
It’s a habit he’ll never kick,
Oh Paul the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, love him.
So many years my tastebuds waited,
Who’d have thought I’d love drinks so caffeinated?
Paul, the latte addict,
I love him, I love him, I love him.
I love him, I love him, I love him.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The big issue
I see you standing there
And what do I do?
I walk on through
I walk on through
How did you end up here?
All alone
With no home
With no home
I always seem to pass you by
Too much to do to even try
To try and see things from your side
What it would be like if this was my life
Would I survive?
Maybe one day
Maybe one day I’ll wake up
And it won’t be so hard to miss you
And maybe one day I’ll wake up
And I won’t long for my lips to kiss yours.
But I know that this heart longs
To beat in time with your heart
I know this heart longs
To be yours and yours alone.
I'll call on you
When I feel like I’m losing
When I don’t know the way
When my dreams are all broken
And the night fills my days
When I can’t fall asleep
When the nightmares seem real
When the world knocks me down
And the bruises won’t heal
I’ll call on you
I’ll call on you
100 things you probably don't need to know about me but I'm telling you anyway
1. I hate getting my picture taken although I am getting better at it.
2. I have a hamster who I adore.
3. I'm scared of pigeons.
4. I hate the fact that I worry so much.
5. I obsess about what clothes I'm going to wear the next day, a week in advance, for a special occasion a month in advance…
6. I have viral labyrinthitis and can't look at black and white things for long periods of time.
7. I couldn't leave home without my phone.
8. My favourite colour varies daily.
9. I like listening to music that affects my mood.
10. I love girly films.
11. I have a weird kidney defect and have to take potassium tablets.
12. I love soul music.
13. I want to work with kids.
14. I love hugs.
15. I love chocolate.
16. I secretly wish I could be a popstar (not so secret now).
17. I love getting caught in the rain and then coming home to change into pyjamas and curl up in front of the tv.
18. I study Chemistry.
19. I love kisses.
20. I love to drool over Johnny Depp.
21. I suck at saying no.
22. I love to sing.
23. I hate exams.
24. I love chinese food.
25. I love to write poetry.
26. Some days I like me.
27. I wish I was better at playing guitar.
28. I want to be able to cook.
29. I have a desire to shop and have to avoid shops so I don't spend money.
30. I love the Czech Rep because of all the sunflowers.
31. I have weak ankles- even though I've had lots of physio.
32. I like singing along with the radio.
33. I want to learn how to speak another language.
34. I have a book about how boys are stupid and it makes me giggle.
35. My favourite flower is a tulip.
36. I'm scared of spiders.
37. I love the beach- even in freezing cold Northern Ireland.
38. I worry about getting old and wrinkly.
39. I like sour food.
40. I'm proud of being soppy.
41. I want to have kids.
42. I love tea.
43. If I were to have a superpower I'd want to be able to fly.
44. I want to go to Athens.
45. I'm scared of snakes.
46. I want to learn more about myself.
47. I like being warm.
48. I like spicy food.
49. I'm scared of heights.
50. I want a puppy.
51. I've already picked out names for my kids.
52. I love having coffee with friends, and spending time with Paul.
53. I love taking pictures.
54. I love dresses.
55. I lived in Florida for a year.
56. I’m easily amused.
57. I'm trying to increase my collection of music and dvds- so I don't seem so uncool!
58. I love high heels- even though I don't wear them often.
59. I wish I was shorter.
60. My eyes have lots of colour in them.
61. I get easily distracted.
62. I get grumpy if I don't have enough sleep- or enough potassium.
63. I miss Claire!
64. I love to harmonise when I sing.
65. I love teddies.
66. I have double jointed fingers.
67. I love my hair.
68. I play a cornet.
69. I'm short-sighted.
70. I hate bikinis.
71. I want to be fitter.
72. I either walk or clean when I'm in a bad mood.
73. I love my big sis!
74. My favourite animal is a koala, even though I've heard they are evil.
75. I'm really bad at taking compliments.
76. My first car was a toyota corolla.
77. I hate goodbyes.
78. I love Nemo- watching or quoting rather than finding.
79. I want a fairytale romance with a prince and happy ever after.
80. Disney screwed up my view of love!!
81. My car's name is Tink.
82. I want Fraggle Rock, Dinosaurs and Secret bars to come back.
83. I only like silver jewellery.
84. I used to hate wearing jeans.
85. I'm indecisive.
86. I like things that are sparkly.
87. I have really long legs.
88. My favourite chemistry module is quantum mechanics.
89. I hate wearing my glasses.
90. I dance like no one is watching.
91. I hate the game monopoly because I get bored before it ends.
92. I like stars.
93. I like happy endings.
94. I like getting messages and emails from people just because they miss me.
95. I fall in love easily.
96. My favourite holiday is Christmas.
97. I don't really like my ears.
98. I love laughing- even when I'm being tickled.
99. I love foot massages.
100.I'm most often defined as cute.
*This list is subject to change- cause I'm particularly indecisive.
2. I have a hamster who I adore.
3. I'm scared of pigeons.
4. I hate the fact that I worry so much.
5. I obsess about what clothes I'm going to wear the next day, a week in advance, for a special occasion a month in advance…
6. I have viral labyrinthitis and can't look at black and white things for long periods of time.
7. I couldn't leave home without my phone.
8. My favourite colour varies daily.
9. I like listening to music that affects my mood.
10. I love girly films.
11. I have a weird kidney defect and have to take potassium tablets.
12. I love soul music.
13. I want to work with kids.
14. I love hugs.
15. I love chocolate.
16. I secretly wish I could be a popstar (not so secret now).
17. I love getting caught in the rain and then coming home to change into pyjamas and curl up in front of the tv.
18. I study Chemistry.
19. I love kisses.
20. I love to drool over Johnny Depp.
21. I suck at saying no.
22. I love to sing.
23. I hate exams.
24. I love chinese food.
25. I love to write poetry.
26. Some days I like me.
27. I wish I was better at playing guitar.
28. I want to be able to cook.
29. I have a desire to shop and have to avoid shops so I don't spend money.
30. I love the Czech Rep because of all the sunflowers.
31. I have weak ankles- even though I've had lots of physio.
32. I like singing along with the radio.
33. I want to learn how to speak another language.
34. I have a book about how boys are stupid and it makes me giggle.
35. My favourite flower is a tulip.
36. I'm scared of spiders.
37. I love the beach- even in freezing cold Northern Ireland.
38. I worry about getting old and wrinkly.
39. I like sour food.
40. I'm proud of being soppy.
41. I want to have kids.
42. I love tea.
43. If I were to have a superpower I'd want to be able to fly.
44. I want to go to Athens.
45. I'm scared of snakes.
46. I want to learn more about myself.
47. I like being warm.
48. I like spicy food.
49. I'm scared of heights.
50. I want a puppy.
51. I've already picked out names for my kids.
52. I love having coffee with friends, and spending time with Paul.
53. I love taking pictures.
54. I love dresses.
55. I lived in Florida for a year.
56. I’m easily amused.
57. I'm trying to increase my collection of music and dvds- so I don't seem so uncool!
58. I love high heels- even though I don't wear them often.
59. I wish I was shorter.
60. My eyes have lots of colour in them.
61. I get easily distracted.
62. I get grumpy if I don't have enough sleep- or enough potassium.
63. I miss Claire!
64. I love to harmonise when I sing.
65. I love teddies.
66. I have double jointed fingers.
67. I love my hair.
68. I play a cornet.
69. I'm short-sighted.
70. I hate bikinis.
71. I want to be fitter.
72. I either walk or clean when I'm in a bad mood.
73. I love my big sis!
74. My favourite animal is a koala, even though I've heard they are evil.
75. I'm really bad at taking compliments.
76. My first car was a toyota corolla.
77. I hate goodbyes.
78. I love Nemo- watching or quoting rather than finding.
79. I want a fairytale romance with a prince and happy ever after.
80. Disney screwed up my view of love!!
81. My car's name is Tink.
82. I want Fraggle Rock, Dinosaurs and Secret bars to come back.
83. I only like silver jewellery.
84. I used to hate wearing jeans.
85. I'm indecisive.
86. I like things that are sparkly.
87. I have really long legs.
88. My favourite chemistry module is quantum mechanics.
89. I hate wearing my glasses.
90. I dance like no one is watching.
91. I hate the game monopoly because I get bored before it ends.
92. I like stars.
93. I like happy endings.
94. I like getting messages and emails from people just because they miss me.
95. I fall in love easily.
96. My favourite holiday is Christmas.
97. I don't really like my ears.
98. I love laughing- even when I'm being tickled.
99. I love foot massages.
100.I'm most often defined as cute.
*This list is subject to change- cause I'm particularly indecisive.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Writing
Standing still
The world's moving fast
If you close your eyes
You'll miss the last
Second,
But a second today
Can last a minute
And time can pay
Just imagine
How long a second feels
When you're spinning
With no control of the wheel
And then you stop.
Standing still
The world's moving fast
If you close your eyes
You'll miss the last
The world's moving fast
If you close your eyes
You'll miss the last
Second,
But a second today
Can last a minute
And time can pay
Just imagine
How long a second feels
When you're spinning
With no control of the wheel
And then you stop.
Standing still
The world's moving fast
If you close your eyes
You'll miss the last
Back to blogging
It has been a long long time since I last wrote on my blog- and a lot has changed for me.
I still have a year left of university, and I really can't wait for it to be over. People say that university is a great experience, but to be honest I haven't enjoyed very much of it. Not university's fault I guess. I have been too sick to act my age- to enjoy the fun parts of uni, and also to pay attention in lectures. It's just been one challenge after another. I do enjoy a challenge at times, but sometimes it would be nice to just have a break.
This summer has been good though. I've managed to work quite a bit- only two or three days a week but it's an achievement for me. I've also spent a lot of time catching up with friends and trying to live life even though I still have days of feeling like something is sitting on my head- bringing back the fog, fatigue and aches throughout my body. I have got days of no pain at all thank goodness- I never thought I would have that, especially when my stomach pains come back. I have to put things into perspective though and see that life can be good, and the amount of good days are increasing.
I've also met the most amazing guy. I know I'm the kind of person who falls easily, and always wants to see the best in people, but Paul really does know how to look after me well. He's such a sweetheart and very understanding about my bad days. I try to not be grumpy around him, and quite often that is very easy as he knows just how to make me smile and feel special, but I know that I'm going to have to let him see me at my worst for him to fully understand it.
I still have a year left of university, and I really can't wait for it to be over. People say that university is a great experience, but to be honest I haven't enjoyed very much of it. Not university's fault I guess. I have been too sick to act my age- to enjoy the fun parts of uni, and also to pay attention in lectures. It's just been one challenge after another. I do enjoy a challenge at times, but sometimes it would be nice to just have a break.
This summer has been good though. I've managed to work quite a bit- only two or three days a week but it's an achievement for me. I've also spent a lot of time catching up with friends and trying to live life even though I still have days of feeling like something is sitting on my head- bringing back the fog, fatigue and aches throughout my body. I have got days of no pain at all thank goodness- I never thought I would have that, especially when my stomach pains come back. I have to put things into perspective though and see that life can be good, and the amount of good days are increasing.
I've also met the most amazing guy. I know I'm the kind of person who falls easily, and always wants to see the best in people, but Paul really does know how to look after me well. He's such a sweetheart and very understanding about my bad days. I try to not be grumpy around him, and quite often that is very easy as he knows just how to make me smile and feel special, but I know that I'm going to have to let him see me at my worst for him to fully understand it.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Rambling again
It feels so long since I last wrote down my thoughts. I suppose I feel embarrassed by them. Scared that I'm so lost. It hasn't helped that I've been trapped in my own mind whilst being sick. I haven't had the same amount of contact with my friends as I have in previous weeks.
I keep feeling like things are going to resolve themselves- that certain aspects of my life are going to fall into place like I've pictured them to be. I'm not completely naive. I know things take time. I know that other things just aren't meant to be, but it is tough when the plans I see for my life don't come remotely close to reality.
I think I need a better balance between planning and trusting in God. I know that I can't just leave it all to Him- I need to work at stuff, especially stuff about myself. I get so caught up in life that I forget who I'm living for. Especially when it comes to things I think I can control. There are certain things that I know are WAY too big for me to handle and I have no trouble handing them over, but things like relationships I'm still trying to figure out. Doesn't help that I'm struggling with my relationship with God. I think they play off each other. I get distracted and forget that God is key- and without God everything just falls apart and then I get mad at Him. I question how it's fair that people who don't even care that there is a one true God seem to have everything figured out and yet I can't even figure out if I want to do a 3 or 4 year course at uni.
Looking at it differently though, I don't think I can complain really. God has blessed me with so much. The fact that I have to make decisions about uni is a big sign to that. I know that God has gifted me with a mind that can analyse and also be creative.
I feel like I'm rambling and that I'm really not collecting my thoughts!
I keep feeling like things are going to resolve themselves- that certain aspects of my life are going to fall into place like I've pictured them to be. I'm not completely naive. I know things take time. I know that other things just aren't meant to be, but it is tough when the plans I see for my life don't come remotely close to reality.
I think I need a better balance between planning and trusting in God. I know that I can't just leave it all to Him- I need to work at stuff, especially stuff about myself. I get so caught up in life that I forget who I'm living for. Especially when it comes to things I think I can control. There are certain things that I know are WAY too big for me to handle and I have no trouble handing them over, but things like relationships I'm still trying to figure out. Doesn't help that I'm struggling with my relationship with God. I think they play off each other. I get distracted and forget that God is key- and without God everything just falls apart and then I get mad at Him. I question how it's fair that people who don't even care that there is a one true God seem to have everything figured out and yet I can't even figure out if I want to do a 3 or 4 year course at uni.
Looking at it differently though, I don't think I can complain really. God has blessed me with so much. The fact that I have to make decisions about uni is a big sign to that. I know that God has gifted me with a mind that can analyse and also be creative.
I feel like I'm rambling and that I'm really not collecting my thoughts!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Holidays
So I've now been on holiday for nearly a month. Doesn't feel like that long- and yet it feels like a lifetime since I was at uni. Not very much has happened but I still feel like a completely different person.
I finished my exams on 23rd May. I managed to get in the 60s for all of them- which is impressive cause I really wasn't prepared. Guessing is the best idea it seems.
A lot of my time off has just been me time. I think I've needed it. I got time to work on some creative projects like writing and presents and my scrapbook. It's been great. I think I'd like a balance of the free time and work time. I'm kinda getting bored but I still don't want to go back to uni.
Highlights of my holiday so far have been..
I finished my exams on 23rd May. I managed to get in the 60s for all of them- which is impressive cause I really wasn't prepared. Guessing is the best idea it seems.
A lot of my time off has just been me time. I think I've needed it. I got time to work on some creative projects like writing and presents and my scrapbook. It's been great. I think I'd like a balance of the free time and work time. I'm kinda getting bored but I still don't want to go back to uni.
Highlights of my holiday so far have been..
- Cheryl and Alastair's wedding on 29th May. They both attend my church and are really fun. It's always good to spend time with them. It was so fun singing in the band. We did the Rocky theme during Be thou my vision and we played I'm a believer and Brown eyed girl at the end. Wish worship could be like that every week! I guess we could make it like that, but I think some of the church members would complain if we played the Rocky theme. Maybe for some youth event!
I also went to the evening event which was fun except that Joyce was teasing me lots. I think she needs a new hobby. It's more annoying when she's actually right about stuff. Anyway, it was a fun night with lots of dancing and I made some new friends cause Aaron's (Aaron being Cheryl's brother) friend Lisa kindly gave me a lift home. - During the same week I also went on my first night out in ages to the Limelight. I'm not a big fan of clubs/pubs but I really enjoy dancing so I thought I might as well give it all another chance. It was quite fun- if not scary at points, but I suppose I should expect that. Randomly ran into uni people there- including my lovely friend JT who took some pics for me. Not sure I like the one of me and her though cause I appear to have been laughing when it was taken.
- I went on a random trip to Bangor for a walk last week with the Roast Club. It was a little bit scary I have to say. I don't think we'll be repeating it but it was great to spend time with the girls and chat about life and of course take lots of pictures. Don't know when I started taking so many pictures.
- Thursday of this week the Roast Club took another little trip to Newcastle. They made me drive which I didn't appreciate. But I suppose it was good practice. I went a little bit hyper when I got there and pretty much acted like a 5year old. Ice cream, walking on walls, swings, slides, and quacking at ducks! It was great. More pictures were taking- including one by me while I was on a swing. That pic made me feel just a little bit ill. We also went to Julie's house to eat chinese and watch the england match.
- I have no idea when I became a football fan- it certainly wasn't the first England match cause it was just boring after like the first 6mins. I really can't say, but it seems to fill in some time in the hols and gives me something to talk about. Can't be a bad thing really. Right?
Friday, May 12, 2006
I'm back
I promise that I tried to update before. I just got a little distracted. I decided to read my last post and realised that I had nothing to say.
But I guess I must have something to say. It has been months since I've written.
So, let's see... January... not a nice month. Had exams and was VERY sick with vertigo. Couldn't even sit one of my exams so it's now in August. Grr. But I did sit one and managed to get 76 despite the room spinning. Got 90 in my other module, so it seems I should stick with chem. Darn. Have to say it is quite fun. My uni friends are the best. They keep me laughing all the time and seem to understand that I don't actually know anything about chem!
Got to do some interesting practicals this term. We made aspirin and paracetamol. I also managed to break my first thing, which was a really expensive salt bridge that smashed at my feet and made my shoe go red- silver nitrate is not good for shoes!!
Other than that I've just been having a laugh with them, trying not to fall asleep in lectures, going to work (I actually like working in Topshop) and meeting up with the Roast club.
The Roast Club are a group of us who go to Roast after queens cu. You can only be a member if you actually order stuff with us at the same time. It's a weird thing. So it's me, Claire, Julie and Nat. Neil is an honourary member, but we have to say that cause he pretty much is always there and surrounded by us annoying girls.
The most exciting thing I've done since my last update was go to Florida for 2 whole weeks. It was fab. I got to catch up with everyone and catch some rays. It just felt like I was home- even though I wasn't. I guess it is my second home but I prefer to think of it as my oasis. I miss it when I'm home. I love home too. I love my family, though they drive me insane, and I love my friends- would not know what to do without them- but I miss my family in America too. I have a huge family in America it seems.
Anyway, I feel like I'm only updating to avoid revision. Soon enough I'll have 4 months to think of stuff to write!!
But I guess I must have something to say. It has been months since I've written.
So, let's see... January... not a nice month. Had exams and was VERY sick with vertigo. Couldn't even sit one of my exams so it's now in August. Grr. But I did sit one and managed to get 76 despite the room spinning. Got 90 in my other module, so it seems I should stick with chem. Darn. Have to say it is quite fun. My uni friends are the best. They keep me laughing all the time and seem to understand that I don't actually know anything about chem!
Got to do some interesting practicals this term. We made aspirin and paracetamol. I also managed to break my first thing, which was a really expensive salt bridge that smashed at my feet and made my shoe go red- silver nitrate is not good for shoes!!
Other than that I've just been having a laugh with them, trying not to fall asleep in lectures, going to work (I actually like working in Topshop) and meeting up with the Roast club.
The Roast Club are a group of us who go to Roast after queens cu. You can only be a member if you actually order stuff with us at the same time. It's a weird thing. So it's me, Claire, Julie and Nat. Neil is an honourary member, but we have to say that cause he pretty much is always there and surrounded by us annoying girls.
The most exciting thing I've done since my last update was go to Florida for 2 whole weeks. It was fab. I got to catch up with everyone and catch some rays. It just felt like I was home- even though I wasn't. I guess it is my second home but I prefer to think of it as my oasis. I miss it when I'm home. I love home too. I love my family, though they drive me insane, and I love my friends- would not know what to do without them- but I miss my family in America too. I have a huge family in America it seems.
Anyway, I feel like I'm only updating to avoid revision. Soon enough I'll have 4 months to think of stuff to write!!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Thank God for brick walls
I really have been neglecting my blog- for two whole months. Eek.
I really don't know what I think right now. I've been floating out in the middle of the ocean wishing on a star for some time I think. My days have become pretty routine- different tasks but nothing ever accomplished. I don't think I've been living. I certainly haven't been living for God. I've been in a little "me" bubble and I've been entirely selfish with my time lately- or I should say, God's time.
Sometimes it amuses me when I run straight into a brick wall. Sure, it hurts. A lot. And boy am I embarrassed. But it's funny cause I should have seen it coming. I felt it coming. I felt a pang in my chest that told me something big was coming. But I shrugged it off as something else. Something that couldn't possibly be related to God.
I forget sometimes that everything relates to God- even the devil relates to God. My friend got asked by a kid in her Sunday school class why God didn't just kill the devil. Tough questions always come from kids- they're smart enough to realise what's going on AND not be scared to question it. But really, no matter how much it hurts God to see us screwed up by the devil, that He's already defeated, He's still hanging in there for us. I think it's a bigger thing to see God's power in watching His own Son die never mind his creation falling to pieces as we walk around simply thinking "Me, myself and I". It must take an awful lot more for God to go through all that just for us to love Him in a way that's no way measurable to how much He loves us. I think it would be way easier for him to just smite the devil and be done with it.
There's also the fact that without evil there's not really good. Without the devil we never would realise that there's such thing as perfection. It haunts me every day I wake up that there is perfection- but without that knowledge there's no way I'd comprehend in any way how much of a difference there is between my love and God's love and therefore realise what He really means and as a result actually choose to worship Him.
I missed the wonder of God. I missed the wonder of a sunset and the beating of a butterfly's wings, the mystery of a tree losing its leaves only to become reborn. I saw a robin the other day and I thought to myself "where do you go Mr Robin when winter time is done?" Ignoring the fact that I gave him a title, it was just such an amazing thought for me to have again. Something that any normal person would just go look up on the internet or forget about entirely I'm sure, but I just think it's amazing that even with life working as a circle and things coming and going into my life that I'm still seeing the wonder in it.
I mean I must have seen a lot of robins in my time. I think if they were around all year round I wouldn't appreciate them as much- and I wouldn't have a freaky looking one attached to my Christmas tree every year. But not only that, I wouldn't have thought about how much God thinks about things. He didn't just put every single animal in the same place for the same seasons - he made them all different, with different characteristics, different ways of communicating, different colours, different countries- and yet sometimes I can just put them all in a big collective and say "animals, yeah...job well done. Well except for those red ants."
I guess it's like humans too. Even if you don't look at one single human, but look at the human race as a whole, we're already more unique. And then you look at a single human- right down to their fingerprints and how anyone can come up with this all being an accident is beyond me.
I don't know what's happening. I don't think I'll ever understand how I can forget how much I need God. I'm sure somewhere deep down inside me I know I need Him, always- at least I hope so cause then it makes that pang when I look at my bible and remember that I haven't read it enough lately more worth it, cause if it's just guilt then I don't think I'm in love.
I do need God. I need Him for life- life to the full. For breath, for the strength to walk around in a falling world without being into floods of tears or hiding away in my room. I need God for my identity- no longer just a sinner- I'm saved, I'm bought, I'm free. And most of all I'm loved. Loved- how amazing it is to be loved. To have someone truly love you.
I read a thing today about metaphors for love- a lot of them were associated with economy, like loving someone is investing in them. But does that not mean that love is like money? Sometimes I really hate money cause it takes a lot of fun out of life. But love isn't like money. We certainly don't earn it. I wouldn't feel right in accepting it if I felt I actually had to earn it- cause how could I ever measure up? But it's not about earning- and it's not about giving it to those who are good enough in our eyes to receive it either.
Love your neighbour like yourself- I think I still need to learn how to do both. But I'm grateful now. I'm grateful that I know God loves me. Even if I have a tendency to run right into brick walls- when I come to He's standing there holding out a hand to pull me up onto my feet and hug me and tell me how much He missed me.
I really don't know what I think right now. I've been floating out in the middle of the ocean wishing on a star for some time I think. My days have become pretty routine- different tasks but nothing ever accomplished. I don't think I've been living. I certainly haven't been living for God. I've been in a little "me" bubble and I've been entirely selfish with my time lately- or I should say, God's time.
Sometimes it amuses me when I run straight into a brick wall. Sure, it hurts. A lot. And boy am I embarrassed. But it's funny cause I should have seen it coming. I felt it coming. I felt a pang in my chest that told me something big was coming. But I shrugged it off as something else. Something that couldn't possibly be related to God.
I forget sometimes that everything relates to God- even the devil relates to God. My friend got asked by a kid in her Sunday school class why God didn't just kill the devil. Tough questions always come from kids- they're smart enough to realise what's going on AND not be scared to question it. But really, no matter how much it hurts God to see us screwed up by the devil, that He's already defeated, He's still hanging in there for us. I think it's a bigger thing to see God's power in watching His own Son die never mind his creation falling to pieces as we walk around simply thinking "Me, myself and I". It must take an awful lot more for God to go through all that just for us to love Him in a way that's no way measurable to how much He loves us. I think it would be way easier for him to just smite the devil and be done with it.
There's also the fact that without evil there's not really good. Without the devil we never would realise that there's such thing as perfection. It haunts me every day I wake up that there is perfection- but without that knowledge there's no way I'd comprehend in any way how much of a difference there is between my love and God's love and therefore realise what He really means and as a result actually choose to worship Him.
I missed the wonder of God. I missed the wonder of a sunset and the beating of a butterfly's wings, the mystery of a tree losing its leaves only to become reborn. I saw a robin the other day and I thought to myself "where do you go Mr Robin when winter time is done?" Ignoring the fact that I gave him a title, it was just such an amazing thought for me to have again. Something that any normal person would just go look up on the internet or forget about entirely I'm sure, but I just think it's amazing that even with life working as a circle and things coming and going into my life that I'm still seeing the wonder in it.
I mean I must have seen a lot of robins in my time. I think if they were around all year round I wouldn't appreciate them as much- and I wouldn't have a freaky looking one attached to my Christmas tree every year. But not only that, I wouldn't have thought about how much God thinks about things. He didn't just put every single animal in the same place for the same seasons - he made them all different, with different characteristics, different ways of communicating, different colours, different countries- and yet sometimes I can just put them all in a big collective and say "animals, yeah...job well done. Well except for those red ants."
I guess it's like humans too. Even if you don't look at one single human, but look at the human race as a whole, we're already more unique. And then you look at a single human- right down to their fingerprints and how anyone can come up with this all being an accident is beyond me.
I don't know what's happening. I don't think I'll ever understand how I can forget how much I need God. I'm sure somewhere deep down inside me I know I need Him, always- at least I hope so cause then it makes that pang when I look at my bible and remember that I haven't read it enough lately more worth it, cause if it's just guilt then I don't think I'm in love.
I do need God. I need Him for life- life to the full. For breath, for the strength to walk around in a falling world without being into floods of tears or hiding away in my room. I need God for my identity- no longer just a sinner- I'm saved, I'm bought, I'm free. And most of all I'm loved. Loved- how amazing it is to be loved. To have someone truly love you.
I read a thing today about metaphors for love- a lot of them were associated with economy, like loving someone is investing in them. But does that not mean that love is like money? Sometimes I really hate money cause it takes a lot of fun out of life. But love isn't like money. We certainly don't earn it. I wouldn't feel right in accepting it if I felt I actually had to earn it- cause how could I ever measure up? But it's not about earning- and it's not about giving it to those who are good enough in our eyes to receive it either.
Love your neighbour like yourself- I think I still need to learn how to do both. But I'm grateful now. I'm grateful that I know God loves me. Even if I have a tendency to run right into brick walls- when I come to He's standing there holding out a hand to pull me up onto my feet and hug me and tell me how much He missed me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Blue
I was in such a bad mood tonight.
I met Emily for coffee today-the chat itself was great. She's volunteering at my church this year- and she's from America. We're kinda like opposites and yet completely the same. We've been challenging each other a lot. My challenge is to like me.
We were talking about how odd it is that we are LOVED by GOD and yet we still seek acceptance. The God of all creation loves us but we feel the need to dress in the right clothes, say the right things to be loved by people. It's a human condition to crave love and acceptance- something put in us by God I believe cause He wants us to seek him. And yet I seek love from friends, guys- anyone who I believe doesn't HAVE to love me. Even a stranger walking down the street.
I go to the bother of deciding what clothes I'm going to wear the night before. I stick little pieces of plastic to my eyes so I don't have to wear glasses and I spend a least 5 minutes every morning applying make-up that I highly doubt anyone can see- but it makes me feel better. I guess it makes me like every other human.
Some day I think I might just wear odd socks- clothes that really don't match or suit me- or perhaps just a silly hat. Or I'll put bright pink streaks in my hair. Or maybe I'll do the ironic thing of being gothic to be different and yet look like everyone else.
I think it's part of the reason I'd like to be five again. You should see some of the pictures of me from then! I wore the brightest colours, with frills and ruffles and pretty much everything and anything girly! I also had a fab pair of pink plastic sunglasses for the summer! Also, when I was 5 I didn't care about guys (though I did have a "boyfriend") or whether or not I was studying the right subject- or even if I was living the correct way. I was just living. Enjoying every day and everything it offered. I was excited to get out of bed!
I think that's part of the reason why I want to be a good mother. I want my children to experience the feeling of innocence and secure happiness for as long as possible-which is difficult in a world that's full of hatred and terror.
I guess I long for a child like faith too. One that just knows that I'm loved by God instead of wondering why He would ever think of me. I'm so glad that my dad was so good to me growing up because my favourite image of God is Him as a Father.
I'm tired now. Falling asleep as I type. I'm also babbling, so I'm going to go now! Night xo.
I met Emily for coffee today-the chat itself was great. She's volunteering at my church this year- and she's from America. We're kinda like opposites and yet completely the same. We've been challenging each other a lot. My challenge is to like me.
We were talking about how odd it is that we are LOVED by GOD and yet we still seek acceptance. The God of all creation loves us but we feel the need to dress in the right clothes, say the right things to be loved by people. It's a human condition to crave love and acceptance- something put in us by God I believe cause He wants us to seek him. And yet I seek love from friends, guys- anyone who I believe doesn't HAVE to love me. Even a stranger walking down the street.
I go to the bother of deciding what clothes I'm going to wear the night before. I stick little pieces of plastic to my eyes so I don't have to wear glasses and I spend a least 5 minutes every morning applying make-up that I highly doubt anyone can see- but it makes me feel better. I guess it makes me like every other human.
Some day I think I might just wear odd socks- clothes that really don't match or suit me- or perhaps just a silly hat. Or I'll put bright pink streaks in my hair. Or maybe I'll do the ironic thing of being gothic to be different and yet look like everyone else.
I think it's part of the reason I'd like to be five again. You should see some of the pictures of me from then! I wore the brightest colours, with frills and ruffles and pretty much everything and anything girly! I also had a fab pair of pink plastic sunglasses for the summer! Also, when I was 5 I didn't care about guys (though I did have a "boyfriend") or whether or not I was studying the right subject- or even if I was living the correct way. I was just living. Enjoying every day and everything it offered. I was excited to get out of bed!
I think that's part of the reason why I want to be a good mother. I want my children to experience the feeling of innocence and secure happiness for as long as possible-which is difficult in a world that's full of hatred and terror.
I guess I long for a child like faith too. One that just knows that I'm loved by God instead of wondering why He would ever think of me. I'm so glad that my dad was so good to me growing up because my favourite image of God is Him as a Father.
I'm tired now. Falling asleep as I type. I'm also babbling, so I'm going to go now! Night xo.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Rambling
It really has been a life time since I last updated. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not really. I had so much stuff I needed to work through and using my blog to vent would not only have been annoying to readers, but embarrassing to me- in the long run anyway.
Lately I've been feeling quite angry at life. There are so many things happening right now that I'd just like to freeze so I have time to think about it. I hate making decisions quickly- for the most part I just hate decisions actually. I don't feel like I'm in a place to get anything right at the moment.
Anyway, I missed writing about my 20th(!!!!) birthday. Probably quite deliberately. Don't want to be 20. Filled out a form the other day and was like "hmm, what age am I? 19? Darn, no I'm 20!" Still want to be 5.
For my birthday I got a guitar, though technically I've had it since the summer. I also got clothes and cds and stuff. I got a box last week from USA. It rocked. I got a new dvd and a picture book which is fab cause now I have more pictures to look at and smile about. I really miss them all. Would love to be back there.
Oh also, I got my hair fixed! It's not longer red! That was very exciting- though no one noticed!
For my birthday I went bowling with friends from church. It was lots of fun. I also went out to lunch with a friend from Uni and went to CU and then to Roast to have coffee with all my friends. That was lots of fun, though I got slagged again. I'm constantly being slagged- mostly about guys. Luckily I really don't care. I think I take it a million time better now. Uni has increased my confidence levels!
I'm still adjusting to uni life. I don't know if I ever really will adjust. Kinda sucks when I see all the Methody people wandering about and I think how much I miss school. Why do I miss school? It really makes no sense. At the time I think I was quite dying to get out of there. To get away from all the rules. But really I like rules. I like structure. I like people telling me what and when I need to do- and having people to help me. Also, I miss all my friends. I have new friends in uni and they are a laugh- don't know what I'd do without them- and yet, it's just not the same. Things were a whole lot simpler then.
But then, would I sacrifice my gap year for simple? Nope. I wouldn't give up my friends and family in PSL for the world. My gap year was not a sacrifice, it was a blessing. I'm only really seeing how much that's true now. I learnt a lot more than I'll let on to my church and I grew as a person. I did change, even if people can't see it. My future changed. My views of family, love, children, home changed, without even factoring in God. Putting what I learnt about God and how I want Him to control everything completely changes my future.
That could be part of why I'm questioning chemistry. Could also be cause I suck at it. And maths is pure torture. Hmm...anyone else thinking Bible College? Though this could also be like the work thing- I'm meant to hate it.
What I'd love to do is sing. I love singing so much. My sister once said I would hum along to the vacuum cleaner. Not sure that's a good thing, but I have always loved singing. I used to make up songs when I was a kid. Then I realised I sucked at that too when I did GCSE music.
Ah well, I gotta go for food now. Hope you are all well. xoxo.
Lately I've been feeling quite angry at life. There are so many things happening right now that I'd just like to freeze so I have time to think about it. I hate making decisions quickly- for the most part I just hate decisions actually. I don't feel like I'm in a place to get anything right at the moment.
Anyway, I missed writing about my 20th(!!!!) birthday. Probably quite deliberately. Don't want to be 20. Filled out a form the other day and was like "hmm, what age am I? 19? Darn, no I'm 20!" Still want to be 5.
For my birthday I got a guitar, though technically I've had it since the summer. I also got clothes and cds and stuff. I got a box last week from USA. It rocked. I got a new dvd and a picture book which is fab cause now I have more pictures to look at and smile about. I really miss them all. Would love to be back there.
Oh also, I got my hair fixed! It's not longer red! That was very exciting- though no one noticed!
For my birthday I went bowling with friends from church. It was lots of fun. I also went out to lunch with a friend from Uni and went to CU and then to Roast to have coffee with all my friends. That was lots of fun, though I got slagged again. I'm constantly being slagged- mostly about guys. Luckily I really don't care. I think I take it a million time better now. Uni has increased my confidence levels!
I'm still adjusting to uni life. I don't know if I ever really will adjust. Kinda sucks when I see all the Methody people wandering about and I think how much I miss school. Why do I miss school? It really makes no sense. At the time I think I was quite dying to get out of there. To get away from all the rules. But really I like rules. I like structure. I like people telling me what and when I need to do- and having people to help me. Also, I miss all my friends. I have new friends in uni and they are a laugh- don't know what I'd do without them- and yet, it's just not the same. Things were a whole lot simpler then.
But then, would I sacrifice my gap year for simple? Nope. I wouldn't give up my friends and family in PSL for the world. My gap year was not a sacrifice, it was a blessing. I'm only really seeing how much that's true now. I learnt a lot more than I'll let on to my church and I grew as a person. I did change, even if people can't see it. My future changed. My views of family, love, children, home changed, without even factoring in God. Putting what I learnt about God and how I want Him to control everything completely changes my future.
That could be part of why I'm questioning chemistry. Could also be cause I suck at it. And maths is pure torture. Hmm...anyone else thinking Bible College? Though this could also be like the work thing- I'm meant to hate it.
What I'd love to do is sing. I love singing so much. My sister once said I would hum along to the vacuum cleaner. Not sure that's a good thing, but I have always loved singing. I used to make up songs when I was a kid. Then I realised I sucked at that too when I did GCSE music.
Ah well, I gotta go for food now. Hope you are all well. xoxo.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
A love letter
Father's Love Letter - English
My Child
You may not know me, but I know everything about you Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God
My Child
You may not know me, but I know everything about you Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God
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