Just a little break

I feel bad for not updating sooner but I've not been very able to type the past few days. Since Sunday my right hand has been about twice the size it's meant to be from an allergic reaction. I never want to go through that again. I thought they might need to amputate it at one point.

Anyway, last Saturday I spent the day with Ronda. We went to the Vero outlet mall and looked about. It was basically a time for me to spend time with her daughter Nicky. Apparently I should have friends outside church too. If I did need to pick one I think she would be a good choice cause she's really nice and likes to have fun.

This week I was meant to take my driving test but I can't do it until I get my proper learners permit. It took the guy an hour and a half to tell us that though. I was not very happy!

Today I took story time at care college. I was a little nervous and talked really fast! Oops.

I also got a package from my sister. There were some birthday cards, a "My sister" book of quotes and a bracelet. It made me a little upset.

Homesickness is one of those annoying cycles that you think you get through but then it comes back. Like when you have the hiccups and you hope they're done but then they aren't after all.

Hope you are all good. I miss you!
xo

The same stars sparkle in the sapphire sky

I'm sitting in the Stannis office at the moment and I'm being pretty antisocial so this should be quick.

I'm doing ok at the moment. Surviving with being away from my family and stuff. I'm also getting lots of opportunities to try new things.

I was going through one of my really stupid (and probably frustrating for other people) moments of not liking myself. Really annoying thing is that I can argue with myself about it, especially about comparing myself to other people! It would be quite amusing for other people to listen to- if only it wasn't in my head.

I'm sure you're very pleased to read my pessimistic rambling. I do have positive moments too. Like the fact that I'm putting in 100% and I'm willing to do pretty much anything I'm asked to. I still need to work on initiative. I'm not very good at that! Charlie says he's impressed with me though. I'm just impressed I've lasted this long. I'm determined to stick it out and get as much out of it as I possibly can. As I've been taught that you have to give a lot to get a lot I'm giving all I can.

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling and go be a family member.

Hope you are good!
xo.

Finding Nemo

I just read the NaNoBlogMo thing and it looks pretty cool. It's about writing a novel. I've always wanted to write one but never had enough drive or inspiration to. I think I'd still like to though. I just need to find a topic.

Today I have to say was pretty uneventful and not too blog worthy. I did spend some time working through a program for Care College (group of 4/5 year olds that meet at church with the cool Care College teachers). Charlie and I are going to get a chance to do stuff with them for a while on Thursday mornings. We're going to use puppets and tell bible stories and sing songs. It sounds very fun and something I'm excited about being involved in. I love kids that age and I really love getting to spend time with them and watching them learn. Yes, I am somewhat passionate about them and have considered teaching, but Stran is evil and I think that I'll just do something with chemistry instead. Or just keep my options open until I absolutely have to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

I watched a movie tonight (Cinderella Story) with Becca and Kathy. It got me thinking about leaving school and now being in a weird place. School provides so much structure and I love having that in my life. I'm kind of in the middle of the ocean now -with everything looking the same and yet nothing is familiar. I do feel blessed though just from being able to spend time with people here, but I feel partly that I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm not really meant to be here. I know many will tell me that it's the devil attacking and stuff, and yeah I do believe in the spiritual warfare and I have felt that the devil has attacked me, but it feels more like I'm torn between things. I can see the good in both situations and so it's conflicting me. I guess I'm meant to be here though.

I hope you are all good and are feeling more secure in your surroundings than I am.

BIRTHDAYS

So I've not been very good at keeping this updated. I'm sorry! Life seems to have got more hectic- or just less organised since I've started seperating my time to kids and youth work. But I do feel that I need to make time to write and I should be able to do that now cause the Stannis computer is fixed.
Yesterday was quite an exciting day... it was my 19th birthday! Still scared to say it was my 19th but birthdays are still cool. I went to church in the morning and we had cupcakes in the sunday school class- or buns! They were yum. Chocolate and vanilla frosting (with chocolate chips!) Charlie and Margaret came to visit our class with exciting news. I'd already guessed but it was still exciting! I guess you'd want to know too... Margaret is pregnant!! And better still is that they're hoping to have the baby before I leave! Yay! I'm so excited! As you can tell by all the exclamation marks!

Anyway, we went to youth for a little time last night and I wasn't allowed in for ages. I kind of guessed at that point that it might have something to do with my birthday. There was a gorgeous chocolate cake - can you guess I like chocolate? Everyone was so nice and I got loads of cards. Margaret and Charlie bought me the Purpose Driven Life Journal. I think it's really exciting and can't wait to get into it though I don't want to mess it up with my writing. Jen and Ron got me a really cute candle holder and candles that smell like Autumn apparently. I also got a really cute birthday book from the Chutes-which has lots of little phrases to make getting old seem better. I never thought I'd really need something to make birthdays seem better but it's just all too scary from now on.

Then we went to dinner. We went to a Japanese restaurant where they cook at your table. Hector, our chef, did some tricks which were pretty cool. It was all fun and exciting. We then came back home to open presents. I got lots of stuff for scrapbooking (and now have some birthday pictures) and 2 gorgeous tops. Also a cool book that I'm meant to read at christmas time. Christmas seems so far off but I guess it's not.

A really cool thing was that I got to know Christine and Kathy better. Christine says she's getting a third sister. How many siblings would that mean I have? Six? Wow, big family. But it was still nice that she said it. I drove with Kathy so we got to chat about stuff and she really is lovely. I'm so glad I've got the opportunity to be part of their family.

Catch up

I didn't have any time to write over the weekend. Saturday was spent hanging out with Becca and Dawn. We spent some time searching for bugs for Becca's project and laying in the sun and some shopping.

I've noticed that a really big thing here is scrapbooking. I've decided to make a scrap book of my year here- which means I need to take some pictures. I figured that this weekend would be a good time to start as I'll be spending time with people for my birthday, plus I'm sure it's something I'll want to remember.

Scrapbooking is also something I can talk to some of the youth about. Becca, Kathy and Holley are just a few of the people who like it. Plus you can buy these really cute stickers for it.

Yesterday and today I've been feeling somewhat ill. Apparently it's due to allergies but it feels more like the flu. I'm keeping on keeping on though. Lots of stuff to be done, such as talking about Spiritual Gifts on Thursday. I'm going to be helping Charlie with it at Youth and I'm feeling a bit out of my depth. He trusts me to be able to do it and I'm sure that I can (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me) but I also feel that Charlie would do such a better job at it. I've never done anything like it before except my attempt at a children's address at cssm. It was funny! I'm not even going to say what happened then cause it would just confirm that I'm not going to do very well on Thursday. But I'll try anyway and hopefully I'll have the opportunity to find a new gift- or at least some ability to be a teacher.

Driving

I am meant to be doing an online driving test at the moment. There are 4sections, each one hour long. I can't go on to the next section until the hour is up even though I've already finished reading it and would quite like to just get it all over with.

I'm kind of having one of those annoying thought moments when I realise that me wanting time to go faster so that I can get this quiz over with is fighting with the part of me that wants time to stop so I can stay this age for ever. And yet, why do I want to stay this age? I don't know but I'm a little bit freaked about turning 19. I don't feel 19 and I don't look it either. I'm still adjusting to being 18, in fact I didn't get used to 17 either. It's so weird how time goes so fast and yet can also go so slow.

This weekend I'm going to get to sunbathe some more. Which should be good cause I'm milk white still. I've only got a few more freckles that normal, but they are really small so no one would notice. I quite need to get some more colour before people come to visit and then slag me. Plus I want to go to the beach and apparently I'll just burn if I don't get some colour first.

I really want to go for a walk but I can't leave the test cause it will sign me out. So I'm just going to type more as my only form of entertainment.

I think I'm going to spend some time this weekend writing. At home I would spend loads of time writing poetry and fanfiction (short stories based on other ideas such as movies, books etc). I've tried to do some here but I don't have the same amount of time or creativity. I guess I'm using some of it up when I write emails and journal entries. The rest of it must just be dampened by my tiredness and being busy. Not that I mind being busy. I think it's quite refreshing to have some responsibility and different tasks to do. Anything is better than just sitting here watching time tick by.

I guess I also should do some driving this weekend. It'll be weird here cause the driving seat is on the other side, they drive on the other side and the cars are automatic.

Food glorious food

I forgot to say that I had the opportunity to try some American food. Fried cheesecake anyone? At first I questioned how they could possibly fry cheesecake and if it is possible, is it edible? But after trying it I think I'm hooked. Though next time I get it I'm not going to eat spinach dip, a main course and the desert. Way too much food. I thought I might explode.
I'm sure you all wanted to hear about that, but this is an American blog so you need to hear all the important and exciting new things I'm doing here. Eating is obviously very important. Eating things that are very bad for you is also a theme.

I'm back again

Sorry I've been gone so long but I couldn't get blogger.com to open at the office and I don't have internet at my new home (for the moment anyway).

I moved in with the Stannis family on Monday. They have been so nice to me. Their house is very pretty and I like my new room. I also have 2new puppies to entertain me and the privalage of spending time with Becca. She is so sweet and cute. We have a nightly ritual of ice cream now. It's really good ice cream. Normally I'm not a big fan of it, but it is really warm here and it's nice to spend time with Becca. She really loves ice cream. Sometimes she doesn't understand what I'm saying but we are still getting to know each other and it's really cool.

I don't get to talk as much to Kathy. It's harder to talk to her as I don't feel that she likes me much and I don't want to push her so I'll just have to be happy with what connection we can make. She seems nice enough, just not completely happy with me staying there.
Dawn really is becoming a 2nd mum, or first mom. She's always checking I'm ok and she does mum things like waking me up in the morning. I don't want her to feel that I'm another one of her children cause I want to be independent and I don't want to be a burden on her. I really appreciate everthing she's done and is doing but I want to do more for her and make her life easier. I'll just have to look for more things to do.

Paper cuts

I feel like what I write in these entries is the most boring thing ever and yet people still want me to write more...Okay, whatever you want.
Today I went to the office again (as if you couldn't have guessed) and we had nothing to do whatsoever. I attempted setting up a forum which was somewhat futile and then went in search of work in the office. Karen suggested phones and my first thought was "Only if when I answer I can just pass them through to you." That would have been so helpful, don't you think? Luckily Gladys came up with a different but not necessarily fun task.

She pulled out a letter and said that we needed 550 copies folded, put into envelopes, stuck down and stamped. She didn't lie when she said it would take a while. Thankfully I had some helpers otherwise I might have gone insane. At first glance it was daunting cause I hate folding letters into three. I never seem to get them matching or straight or even the right size to fit in the envelope, but once I found a system time flew by. In fact Holley had to drag me away to lunch, even though I didn't really have breakfast and was kind of hungry.

I'm glad she dragged me away. I had a raspberry, strawberry, banana smoothie and Wendy's food. All very yum and I could nearly convince myself that at least the drink was healthy until Holley told me how much sugar was in it. Gross.

So other than that I haven't done much today. I tried to get back into the normal (what is normal?) structure of the day and just go with the flow but I don't think I was fully there for most of it. Some of the time I just sat there trying not to move so that I wouldn't aggravate my back pain. Other times I just stared off into space thinking about home and actually I'm not sure what else. It all seems a big blur. How can so many hours just whirl by?

Another thing is that three weeks seem to have just gone in a blink. I'm already down to 9 months and I feel like I've done nothing. Obviously I've made some new friends and I've tried my best to do what needed done but looking back, the stuff I did really didn't need done. But that's now and not then.

I think I need some perspective on everything.